


Refound & Restored

by sinivalkoista



Series: Matt & Nat [3]
Category: Daredevil (TV), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Hospitalization, Human Disaster Matt Murdock, Hurt Matt Murdock, Injury, Matt Murdock Needs a Hug, Natasha Romanov Feels, Natasha Romanov Is Not A Robot, Non-Consensual Drug Use, Protective Natasha Romanov, Secret Marriage, Secret Relationship, Tony is a gossiper, but it's forced
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-17 18:07:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29596686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinivalkoista/pseuds/sinivalkoista
Summary: “Are you all right?” Clint asks.The question causes Natasha to pause, but she doesn’t show it outwardly. “Of course I am,” she answers without betraying a hint of the uncertainty that curls in her belly at his words.Later on, she makes an attempt to engage Clint in conversation more than she has been. It seems to work.For him, at least.(After all, Natasha isn’t going to forget Matt any time soon.)ORNatasha tries to cope after Matt's death.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Natasha Romanov, Matt Murdock & Natasha Romanov, Matt Murdock/Natasha Romanov
Series: Matt & Nat [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2098407
Comments: 10
Kudos: 51





	Refound & Restored

“Are you all right?”

The question causes Natasha to pause, but she doesn’t show it outwardly. “Of course I am,” she answers without betraying a hint of the uncertainty that curls in her belly at his words.

They’re on a stakeout, watching some person SHIELD assures them is of interest but who actually may be one of the most boring persons in New York City. Natasha’s used to Clint bringing up varying topics of conversation, but it’s usually about what escapes Cooper, Lila, and Nate have gotten into in the past week. Not her emotional state. Natasha likes to think she doesn’t have one.

“Why?” she asks, peering back through her binoculars. Their target is still eating Chinese takeout from a carton while sitting at his desk, and with his tie undone and his feet propped up, it doesn’t look like he is about to move anytime soon.

“Just wondering.” Loudly, Clint rummages around in his bag of potato chips, crinkling it in his attempt to reach the stragglers at the bottom. “You’ve been rather quiet lately.”

The observation is rather astute for Clint. Although he cares, he sometimes misses a few things - but not many. Like this one.

“I’m a spy,” Natasha returns. “It’s my job to be quiet.” She raises her eyebrow at the bag of potato chips.

Clint ignores her hint. “I’m just saying. Did you break up with your hot date or something? Do you want me to egg his car?”

“No, Clint.” 

She’s tempted to tell him to leave her alone. Since that would reveal that something  _ is  _ bothering her, though, she doesn’t and puts up with his teasing for a little while.

Later on, she  _ does _ make an attempt to engage Clint in conversation more than she has been. It seems to work.

For him, at least. 

(After all, Natasha isn’t going to forget Matt any time soon.)

…

Natasha doesn’t like to go back to the apartment, but she also can’t bear to let it go. 

She should be ashamed of her attachment to a set of rooms in a building crammed full of other people just because it holds pathetic memories of someone who isn’t even alive anymore. It’s a weakness she can’t afford in the long run.

Nevertheless, she finds her fingers flying over the keys of a laptop as she uses another one of her identities to pick up the rent on the apartment.

Maybe it’s foolish.

But if Phil Coulson can be alive, maybe Matt will be, too, one day, even though he was buried under tons of steel, concrete, and rubble instead of stabbed.

(Natasha almost laughs out loud at her own thinking.)

…

Natasha once vowed that she would never set foot in a church, and it was a commitment that she kept even when Matt was alive. Because he seemed to sense her resolution on this, he never verbally asked her even though the invitation stood every week she was in town.

Natasha’s hands are as red as her hair. On bad days, she can feel the blood running through them, and she isn’t really sure about setting foot on the church’s ground.

But Matt found comfort in the church. Even when it was empty of people and the vibrations of the organ, he liked to sit on the pews and soak in the atmosphere.

Natasha missed the opportunity to see him there, and she regrets that.

Maybe that’s what drives her towards Matt’s church on a Sunday morning after she hears the bells ringing only slightly above the traffic and screaming sirens of Hell’s Kitchen. It’s a little bit of peace amid the chaos, and she either wants to feel a little close to Matt or a little of what he did sitting in a church.

An old priest is standing at the door, greeting visitors.

Warmly, Natasha smiles at him as she shakes his hand.

“Have you been here before?” he asks.

“No, Father.”

“Welcome, then.” He sounds sincere enough.

Natasha nods, thanks him, and says what other pleasantries need to be said in order to enter the church unhindered by awkwardness. She mingles with the other parishioners. A few of them recognize her as a newcomer, but they leave her well enough alone once they discover that she isn’t going to give them more of a first name. Natasha’s perfected a cold exterior for when she wants solitude.

As they start filing into the main sanctuary, Natasha realizes that she should have come either sooner or later. She doesn’t want to be stuck in the middle of everyone, and she has a feeling that Matt would have chosen to sit in the back because he didn’t like to be around that many stimulants.

When no one is looking, she slips into one of the older hallways that surround the sanctuary, pausing at a side door to soak in the organ music.

Matt loved music. Mostly classical, pieces Natasha is more familiar with than the noise Clint likes to blare whenever he’s bored enough for that kind of entertainment.

She reaches out a hand and feels the flower engraving on the doorframe. 

It’s then she notices one of the nuns exiting a door.

That in and of itself isn’t suspicious. No doubt the sisters have duties even during the service, and Natasha recalls that Matt told her that he grew up in an orphanage run by this very church.

The furtive glances she sends up and down the hallway, however, definitely  _ are.  _

Natasha’s hidden by an overgrown, leafy plant on top of a side table that gives her the perfect vantage point when the sister wipes her brow, pulls out a key, and unlocks another door.

The woman is obviously hiding something.

Out of curiosity, Natasha decides to follow her. 

The staircase leads down to a basement.

Hiking up her habit, the sister hurries down the stairs. Although a few hallways branch off, it’s child’s play to follow her because the hard soles of her shoes click on the older floor.

When the other woman stops in a room, Natasha sidles up to the corner and peaks around it.

The sister’s back is to Natasha, and she is standing by a cot, holding some kind of bottle and a syringe.

As she leans over the cot, the figure on it thrashes, but in the end, the nun wins out.

As she turns to dispose of her medical equipment, Natasha ducks back to one of the other hallways, out of sight. A few minutes later, the nun hurries past Natasha’s hiding place, and Natasha takes that as her cue to investigate the person’s identity further.

Although a blanket is covering the figure, it’s obviously a male. Whatever drugs the nun gave him must be effective because he barely even twitches as Natasha approaches.

Despite being matted down by sweat, there’s something familiar to the outline of his hair as well as his jaw.

Natasha sucks in a breath.

It’s one of the last people she expects to see lying drugged in a cot in the basement of a Catholic church.

It’s Matt.

…

If she had not been in that part of town, she would not have entered the church.

If she had not entered the church, she would not have seen the crowd of people.

If she had not seen the crowd of people, she would not have not gone down the hallway.

If she had not gone down the hallway, she would not have witnessed the nun’s anxiety.

If she had not witnessed the nun’s anxiety, she would not have followed her.

If she had not followed her, she would have never found Matt.

There are a dozen little things that Natasha could have overlooked.

She could have passed on by. 

She doesn’t know how Matt is alive after the collapse at Midland Circle, she doesn’t know why the nun is keeping him here and drugging him more than likely against his will, and she doesn’t know why he is being kept a secret down here when so many are mourning and crying over the death of Matt Murdock.

That makes her angry.

But for the moment, Natasha stifles her emotions to think clearly.

To make sure the nun isn’t coming back, Natasha casts a glance over her shoulder. She doesn’t hear anything.

“Matt.” Next to him, she crouches, barely letting the tips of her fingers touch his temple. “Matt, wake up.”

Although she doesn’t think he’ll wake up, it’s worth a try.

Aside from moving his head slightly and muttering something that sounds like  _ Nat,  _ Matt doesn’t stir.

Natasha doesn’t know the nun’s habits or when she’s going to return, so she can’t linger much longer. She also isn’t aware of what’s wrong with Matt (but how can there not be anything when an entire building collapsed on top of him?), and she weighs her options.

The best thing is to move him to  _ better  _ medical help as soon as possible. With the back of her hand, she briefly checks his forehead. He has a fever.

She frowns. Whatever “medical attention” he’s been receiving isn’t enough, obviously.

Matt is leaving with her, she decides then (even though the decision was made the second she recognized him), and if someone tries to stop her...well, she  _ is  _ the Black Widow.

(Matt may hold qualms about hitting someone inside a church, but Natasha does not.)

…

Ironically, for the time they’ve been married, Matt has never been to her apartment, and he enters this time unconscious.

Natasha sets up a temporary IV line and then moves on to inspect the rest of his injuries.

Whoever the unnamed nun was must have some previous medical training because his broken leg and arm are splinted fairly well (they may have been crushed, but Natasha does not want to mess with them too much), and it appears as though she gave him stitches at one point in various places. At least she had some sense in that one regard.

Natasha isn’t so sure in the others.

Matt doesn’t seem to be aware of where he is, how he is, or even who Natasha is. Every once in a while, he tosses and turns, mumbling a few words here and there under his breath before succumbing to his self-induced exhaustion.

His previous caretaker may have thought she was doing him a favor by keeping him drugged, but Natasha knows that Matt would protest heavily. If he suddenly wakes up and demands pain medication, she’ll sedate him for a week, but she knows he isn’t going to do that.

She is, however, slightly concerned about what she  _ can’t  _ see. Although Matt is  _ outwardly  _ on the mend, she doubts the sister took him to a hospital to ensure there wasn’t any internal damage above immediate attention.

As she watches him, Natasha lights a cigarette and takes a long drag. Part of her is hoping that it will provoke Matt to open his eyes and tell her to put it out because he hates the smell, but he doesn’t.

(Natasha will wait for him, though, because Matt is alive - not whole, not unbroken, but alive - and that’s more than he was twelve hours ago.)

(The hand that lifts the cigarette to her lips shakes slightly.)

…

When Matt’s condition continues to worsen, Natasha realizes that she has to make a decision. Even if she does have more medical training than the average person, she isn’t equipped for this sort of thing. It would have been easier if she had been there from the get-go, and in a way, it’s a miracle that Matt has survived this long.

Natasha feels a flash of anger towards the woman at the church, at her selfishness or plain stupidity.

Natasha is torn.

On one hand, she could risk it and continue to take care of Matt’s life. She has strings, connections, and she could get some of the desperately needed supplies.

On the other, Natasha isn’t a fully equipped medical center with one of the best doctors in the medical world, robotic technology, and artificial technology. 

After internally debating, Natasha makes the call.

It’s three o’clock in the morning, but Tony Stark’s sleeping patterns are just as messed up as hers, and he answers on the third ring.

Before Tony can spout off some witty greeting, Natasha takes over the conversation from the get-go. “I need a bed in medical,” she tells him.

“ _ Prisoner or friend _ ?” Tony asks.

“Friend. Serious condition.” After rattling off the address (Tony already knows about this apartment of Natasha’s, so she doesn’t mind revealing the information), Natasha hesitates before turning her voice as cold as she can muster. “Ask or try to find out who he is, and I will kill you.”

Tony laughs, obviously thinking it’s a joke.

Natasha does not.

_ “Is he some sort of secret admirer, Romanoff? Did he insult you or-”  _

Natasha hangs up on him.

…

Natasha ensures that only the medical team sees his face, that they don’t check his eyes for a concussion or other damage, and that Tony stays as far away as possible.

For the duration of the examination and the subsequent surgeries to fix things that began healing the wrong way, Natasha watches like a hawk. She shuts down all attempts of Tony’s to figure out who the mysterious person is, and she’s glad that Clint is away on a solo mission. She doesn’t need to deal with him on top of Tony.

It’s two in the afternoon the next day, and she’s in the middle of arguing/telling Tony exactly what she’s going to do to him if he presses the matter when Dr. Cho opens the door to Matt’s room (although as far as she or Tony knows, he’s John Doe) and announces, “He’s asking for you.”

When Tony starts to move forward, Natasha grabs him by the arm.

“Fine.” He raises both hands. “I surrender. But I  _ will  _ figure out who he is, Romanoff.” He points a finger at her. “You can’t hide your secret boyfriend forever. I want to meet him, you know, make sure he is good enough for our Nat.”

Despite the Devil in him, Matt is the one too good for her. Natasha doesn’t want to taint him with her world, and she  _ will  _ keep the two separate for as long as possible.

She lets none of these thoughts show, however. Instead, she says, “Get lost, Tony, or they won’t find your body.”

…

Natasha is sitting in one of Tony’s over-fancy chairs in Matt’s room when Matt opens his eyes.

For a few seconds, they move aimlessly before he tilts his head to the side. In confusion, his eyebrows (well, what’s left of his eyebrows since one now has a slight cut marring its shape) knit together. “Nat?” he croaks as if he isn’t sure.

“I’m here.”

Leaning forward, she intertwines her fingers with his, and he latches on to her hand like it’s his only anchor to the world.

“Nat,” he repeats as his face relaxes.

Then, he smiles at her, the sweet smile that usually stems from the corners of his mouth and warms Natasha.

Natasha decides that she will kill the next person who tries to take that smile, that one sliver of happiness, away from her.

“I have to go,” she tells him, using the tips of her fingers to trade his forehead. “I will be back.”

If she stays any longer, she will definitely attract more attention than she already has from Tony and the others. 

“Home.”

Natasha wants to take him home. It hasn’t been the two of them for so long, but she knows neither of them can have that.

“As soon as possible,” she promises, and Matt smiles again because he knows that Natasha doesn’t make promises she doesn’t intend on keeping.

…

Before Tony can get his hands on it, Natasha deletes all video footage and audio recording for the past twenty-four hours in that room in the MedBay with assistance from his very sympathetic AI and her assurance that it would bring no harm to anyone. When Tony tries to access it, he will find it wiped, and Natasha takes a  _ little  _ pleasure in foiling his plans to pry into her personal life.

The next morning, she finds a pricey coffee on her desk at SHIELD.

She accepts the apology.

…

(Matt smells exactly how she remembers.)

(Natasha feels whole again.)


End file.
